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The Home Keys. 1. A, S, D, F : Place your left pointer finger on the F key. You should feel a little bump on the key. Place the other fingers of your left hand so that the little finger is on A, the third finger is on S, and the middle finger is on D. 2. J, K, L, and Semi : Place your right pointer finger on the J key. You should feel a little bump on this key also. Place the other fingers of your right hand so that the little finger is on the ; key, the third finger is on L, and the middle finger is on K. |
| ff jj ff jj dd kk dd kk ss ll ss ll aa ;; aa ;; fj dk sl a; ffj jjf ddk kkd ssl lls a; ;a fjdksla; ;alskdjf f; dl sk aj ja ks ld ;f fjfj kdkd slsl a;a; faj jaffa sak kas; dall lass dakk; lads add a laff; kas jak asks lads; dad asks all lads; alfa alfalfa al alfa; sad as all dads alas dad falls; salad falls; slak falls all sad; sad dad asks a lass; sad as a salad |
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The g and h keys. To type the letter g, lift the first finger of the left hand from the home key f and move to the right. Return to f after typing. To type the letter h, lift the first finger of the right hand from the home key j and move to the left. Return to j after typing. When the first fingers of the left and right hands have been moved for the typing of g and h, the second, third and fourth fingers of each hand must remain on the home keys. |
| aa ss dd ff gg ff ;; ll kk jj hh jj asdfgf; lkjhj asdfgf; lkjhj a; sl dk fj gh fj dk sl gak; hag; jags glass glad flask hall shall a ah hah half flash; a glad lass had a flag; had a salad; had a glass; a glass flask; a glad lad; dash a fall as has; a glad lad has a sad galah; a glad lass had half a salad; gash glad half; lads slak; ask alf; dad had a fall alf had a flag has dad had a fall; ask dad |
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The e and i keys. e : Second finger of left hand above and slightly to left of d. i : Second finger of right hand above and slightly to left of k. Note: Fingers must remain on home keys when not in use. |
| ded ded; kik kik; ede ede; iki iki; ded kik desk; kiss kids disk deli dill deli kill kiss kill edi ike hide like deal keel life lease idle file died glide side aid; hike sail jade lake asked heel gale he did feed a fish; he had a dead fish killed; did a lad kill a fish; a disk dashes kids desk; lead life led lied laid; kel kissed sad sadie said sallie; jill likes kellie like hillie; dellie glides like jellie; |
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The c and comma ( , ) keys. c : Second finger of left hand below and slightly to right of d. comma ( , ) : Second finger of right hand below and slightly to right of k. Note: Fingers must remain on home keys when not in use. |
| dcd dcd; k, k, k, k, dedc dedc, kik, kik, ice, ice, kick, kick, disc, disc, dice, he kicked his desk, he did, she decided, as he decided, she iced a cake, he likes cakes, as he is sick, a chef likes chickee chills, jackie is sick, a sick chick, a child likes cheesie jacks, she had a chill, he likes ices, a hag cackles, a hag has cakes, lacks dacks, jack, has sacks, clad classic, jacked, flicks, flecks, flacks, hickies, heckles, hackles, |
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The r and u keys. r: First finger of left hand above and slightly to left of f u: First finger of right hand above and slightly to left of j. Note: Fingers must remain on home keys when not in use. |
| frf frf frf, juj juj juj; rfr rfr rfr, uju uju uju; frf juj, jug jug jug, fur, hug, rug, rue rue; curl curl; girl girl; urge urge urge; rules rule, a full carriage; drug a rug, a rude lad lurks; a jug cull; a glue jar; lulu fried a fur fish; a judge flushed; he crushed a grudge; car crashed, curdled lard; ruck scared, kick, ruck, guide; guide glider large sarge; ride liger, sure share flask, lesser grass grue ragged far; fur dug hug hurries hurried; |
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The v and m keys. v : Fir st finger of left han d below and slight ly to right of f. m : Fi rst finger of right ha nd below and sligh tly to right o f j . N ote: Fin gers must r emai n on home keys when not in use. |
| fvf fvf fvf; jmj jmj jmj; frfv frfv frfv; jujm jujm jujm; veer veer, germ germ, river river, firm firm; she referred him; a car veered; give him much juice; veered; a miracle saved him; give him a ham; give him a mauve vase; give a girl her caramel ice cream cake; a muffled miss muddle mud, mum; |
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The t and y keys. t : First finger of left hand above and slightly to left of g. y : First finger of right hand above and slightly to left of h. Note: Fingers must remain on home keys when not in use. |
| gtgf gtgf gtgf; hyhj hyhj hyhj; tgtf tgtf tgtf; yhyj yhyj; thy thy, rut rut, guy guy, rye rye, try try, tray tray; very very very; stay stay stay; yet yet yet; yeast yeast; she had a frilly red taffeta dress; he had a smart grey suit; they resumed their study; tim felt very sick after the game; gertie is very tired; tell mary the girl is deceitful; |
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The b and n keys. b : First finger of left hand below and slightly to right of g. n : First finger of right and below and slightly to right of h. Note: Fingers must remain on home
keys when not in use. |
| gbgf gbgf gbgf; hnlij hnhj hnhj; gtgbf hyhnj gtgbf hyhnj; ban ban ban, nib nib nib, hub hub hub, rub rub rub, run run; bean bean; nest nest; brim brim; navy navy; blunt blunt; beryl ran fast and caught the blue train at the siding; the shy lamb is in the muddy van; she has cash in the bank; ruby, kate and may sang a bright hymn in the little church; |
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The w and o keys. w : Third finger of left
hand above and
slightly to left of s. o : Third finger of right
hand above and
slightly to left of l. Note: Fingers must remain on home
keys when not in use. |
| sws sws sws; id lol id; wsw wsw wsw; do do old; sws lol; owl owl owl, won won won, low low low, bow bow bow, now now; sway sway; icily lolly; sweet sweet; lotty lotty; mow mow; swing high, swing low; the wise workers walked slowly home; lower the boat and give the baby a ride down the river; |
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The x and full stop keys. x : Third finger of left
hand below and
slightly to right of s.
Full Stop ( .
) : Third finger of right
hand below and
slightly to right of l. Note: Fingers must remain on home
keys when not in use. |
| sxs sxs sxs; l.l l.l l.l; swsx swsx swsx; lol. lol. lol. sox sox sox. box box box. tax tax tax. mix mix mix. lax lax. the man fixed the window sill and then went away. we affixed a seal of wax; we will seek his good offices. one monday morning we all went over the bill and far away. the girl lost the box of sweets which was given to her. |
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The q and p keys. q: Fourth finger of left
hand above and
slightly to left of a. p: Fourth finger of right
hand above and
slightly to left of semi ( ; ). Note: Fingers must remain on home
keys when not in use. |
| aqa aqa aqa, ;p; ;p; ;p;, qaq qaq qaq, p;p p;p p;p, aqa ;p; pen pen; quo quo; apt apt; qui qui; pet pet; que que; quay quay; lip lip; queer queer; mop mop; queen queen; caper caper; quiet quiet; opaque opaque; puppies puppies; pack the pawpaws and take them to the palace for the queen. that quiet man quoted a passage from the quarterly papers. |
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|
The z and forward / keys. z : Fourth finger of left
hand below and
slightly to right of a. Forward slash : Fourth finger of right
hand below and
slightly to right of semi ( ; ). Note: Fingers must remain on home
keys when not in use. |
| az az aqaz ;/ ;/ ;p;/ az az aqaz ;/;/ ;p;/ az aqaz ;/ ;p;/ buzz buzz buzz; u/c u/c u/c; haze haze haze; a/c a/c a/c; zero zero; zebra zebra; and/or and/or; zeal zeal; c/o c/o; the zoo is open every day of the week, including holidays. my friends are too tired and lazy to go to your party. buzzing bees among the phlox; the hazy sky; zero hour. |
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The Shift Key - Capital Letters. If
the letter to be capitalized is on the right-hand side of the keyboard, move the fourth finger of the left hand from the home key to the left-hand
Shift Key, at the same time keeping other
fingers on the guide keys. Type the
character and return the finger to the home
key. Release the Shift Key and return the finger to the home key. To
capitalize a letter on the left-hand side of the keyboard depress the right-hand Shift Key. |
| aA bB cC dD eE fF gg hH iI jJ kK lL mM nN oO pP qQ rR sS tT uU vV wW xX yY zZ To My So It Of As Do Or Ox Do Oh Up If No We On Manly, Bondi, Cronulla and Maroubra are popular Sydney beaches. Tom, Peter, Oscar and Xavier went to Coolangatta for Christmas. The Prime Minister left for Southern Rhodesia last Wednesday. |
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The 5 and 6 keys. 5 : First finger of left
hand two rows
above and slightly to left of g. 6 : First finger of right
hand two rows
above and slightly to left of h. Note: Fingers must remain
on home keys when not in use. |
| f5g g5f, f5g g5f, j6j h6h j6j, 5F5 5f5 5g5, F5 g5, J6 H6, f5f 55g, 565 656, 65h g56 6h5, Fg5 Tr5, IU6 7, Kin6 M6, 656 565 b55, n66 v55, 5656 6 is half a dozen, twice 6 times 5 plus 6 is 66 6x5x5x6 is Nine Hundred, 5 times 6 and 6 times 5 is sixty. 6 is half a dozen and 5 is one less than half a sixpack. All phone numbers in Hollywood Start with 555. |
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The 3, 4, 7 and 8 keys. 3: Second
finger of left hand two rows above and slightly
to left of d. 4: First finger of left hand two rows above and slightly
to left of f. 7: First finger of right hand two rows above and slightly
to left of j. 8: Second finger of right hand two
rows above and slightly to left of k. Note: Fingers must remain
on home keys when not in use. |
| f4f d3d, f4f d3d, j7j k8k f7f k8k, 4f4 3d3 4f4, f7 d8, j4 k3, f44 d33 44f 33d, 474 747, 383 838, 74j j47 7j4, 83k k38 8k3, ur4 4ru, not 7, must b 8, 3 won 8 won 38 won, 3 low 8, 747 474 m44, m77 f88, 7438, b38 b83 n38, n83 888, 3 sway, 3 F47s shot down a 747 lollies, 3 icy lollies, 38 Sweet Ices, 3x7x4 is 84, 7x4x3 is 84. 8 times eleven is 888. 3 times eleven is 33. 3 times 4 times 7 and 4 is 88. 7 Wise Dwarfs whistled as they worked and walked slowly home, My love is leaving on a 747 from gate 88 on Level 4. |
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The 1, 2, 9 and 0 keys. 1: Fourth finger of left
hand two rows
above and slightly to left of a. 2: Third finger of left hand two rows above and slightly
to left of s. 9: Third finger of right hand two rows above and slightly
to left of l. 0: Fourth finger
of right hand two rows
above and slightly to left of semi(;) Note: Fingers must remain
on home keys when not in use. |
| s2s a1a. s2s a1a. L9L ;0; s9s ;0;. 2s2 1a1 2s2. s9 a0. L2 ;1. s22 a11 22s 11a. 292 929. 101 010. 92L L29 9L2. 01; ;10 0;1. ow2 2wo. zot 9. cost b 0. 1 woz 0 woz 10 woz. 1 Low 0. 929 292 c22. c99 s00. 9210. b10 b01 z10. z01 000. 1 sway. 291 snakes sat on a Mazda 929. 10 Icy Lollies. 10 sweet aces. 1x9x2 is 18. 1x2x11 is 22. 20 times eleven is 220. 10 times eleven is 110. 10 times 20 times 90 is 18,000. 2 by 2 the 1000s of animals stepped aboard the Ark at 9.00pm |
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The Symbol Keys. Exclamation Mark !: Shift + 1, @ Symbol :Shift
+ 2, # Symbol: Shift +
3, $ Sign : Shift + 4, % Sign : Shift + 5, & Symbol: Shift + 7, *: Shift + 8, Open Brackets (: Shift +
9, Close Brackets ): Shift + 0, + Sign : Shift + =. [ , ] , \ , ' , ", ? : Square
Brackets, Back Slash, Single Quote, Double Quotes, and Question Mark, find them
if you can! Note: These keys must not be used for bad
language!. |
| a!a, !a!, s@s, @S@, d#d, #D#, f$f, F4$f, f%f, F5%f, j&j, J7&j, k*k, K8K, K*K, (l);, l(L); p(): 2 @ $10 + 3 @ $25 = $95.00 25% of 14 is 3.5 What is 33% of 99? Is 10% of $1.20 12 cents? 200% of 100 is 100% of 200! # & @ are symbols on the top row! (3+6)*9=81 but (6-3)/9=1 3 is a member of [1,3,5,7,11] :-) :-( ;-) 8-) 8-D 8-( :-] :-[ On the internet, typing in all capitals is seen as SHOUTING! If you want to emphasize, you should use the internet version of bold type which is to place asterisks around the words you want to ***stand out***. C:\McGoo\GoKeys!\GoKeys!.exe McGoo's e-mail address is mcgoo@mcgoo.com.au McGoo's web site is at http://www.mcgoo.com.au C:\My Documents is a good place to store your documents! & is another way of typing "and"! "Tell all your friends about GoKeys!" said Mcgoo, "and your teacher, too!" Bill's files are in H:\Bill, but mine are in C:\Mine\Stuff. Where are yours? |
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The Key Pad Home Keys. The Number Key Pad is usually found to the right
side of the keyboard. Sometimes it can be a separate device that plugs in via a
USB port. The Number Key Pad is used
when large amounts of numerical data have to be keyed in quickly, for example,
when keying lists of figures or prices. Keying starts with
3 fingers resting on the Key Pad Home Keys. 4 : First finger of right
hand. 5 : First finger of right
hand. 6 : First finger of right
hand. Note: Fingers must remain
on the Key Pad Home keys when not in
use. |
| 44 55 66 44 55 66 44 55 66 44 55 66 4455 45 54 45 54 56 65 65 46 64 46 64 55664466 444 555 666 444 555 666 444 555 666 6546 456 654 456 654 546 645 445 556 665 4564 4444 5555 6666 4455 5566 6644 4564 46546 5456 5445 4565 6556 6465 4656 6446 56654 4 5 6 44 45 46 55 56 54 66 65 64 456 654 546 564 665 554 4454 4455 5566 6644 5465 |
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The Key Pad 1 and 7 Keys. The Number Key Pad is usually found to the right
side of the keyboard. Keying starts with
3 fingers resting on the Key Pad Home Keys. Then you
move up and down to the other keys. 1 : First finger of right
hand and down 1. 7 : First finger of right
hand and up 1. Note: Fingers must remain
on the Key Pad Home keys when not in
use. |
| 4747 474474 747474 7477474774 4477 74 414144 414414 411414 1414 141141 4114747 1 41 17 74 71 14 147 741 1141117717 771 414 471 4147 4171 4741 4717 47171117744 17471471741414714147 47415751 67611676 15751477416 475 415 574 514 476416674614 1657654 1657651667114 |
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The Key Pad 2 and 8 Keys. The Number Key Pad is usually found to the right
side of the keyboard. Keying starts with
3 fingers resting on the Key Pad Home Keys. Then you
move up and down to the other keys. 2 : Second finger of right
hand and down 1. 8 : Second finger of right
hand and up 1. Note: Fingers must remain
on the Key Pad Home keys when not in
use. |
| 58 58 585 585 85 85 858 858 5885 5588 855885558885 52 52 525 525 25 25 252252 52255522 25 555222555 858 252 255858525 258585 228882 828882 52558 525852852 58525825 2258 58 52 68 62 48 42 26 86 24 84 25 85 8524 584 524 485 425 56 526 685 625 265 8645 |
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|
The Key Pad 3 and 9 Keys. The Number Key Pad is usually found to the right
side of the keyboard. Keying starts with
3 fingers resting on the Key Pad Home Keys. Then you
move up and down to the other keys. 3 : Third finger of right
hand and down 1. 9 : Third finger of right
hand and up 1. Note: Fingers must remain
on the Key Pad Home keys when not in
use. |
| 69 69 696 96 96 969 969 6996 6699 96 63 63 636 636 36 36 363 363 63366 63336 969 363 3996 9336 369963 33633993 939993636 6936369 639669393396 1425 3645 5665 7485 9631 6997 8525 457256 369854 1254716 724159365 123456789 1234565789 98764321 |
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The Key Pad 0 and Point Keys. The Number Key Pad is usually found to the right
side of the keyboard. Keying starts with
3 fingers resting on the Key Pad Home Keys. Then you
move up and down to the other keys. 0 : First finger of right
hand and down 2. . : Third finger of right hand and down 2. Note: Fingers must remain on the Key Pad Home keys when not in use. |
| 6. 6. 6.6 6.6 .6 .6.6 .6. .6. 6..6 66.. .6 4040 5060 4045 05606 6004 5060 4050 4056 4655 4655 4655 4655 4655 ... 6.0 4.05 0.4 4.4 5.0 60.06 2.09108 3.075 0.1 0.2 0.3 0.4 0.5 0.6 6.0 7.0 8.0 90. 10.0 110 20 30 400 500 6001708 809 901 0.1 9.0 1.2 3.4 5.6 7.8 0.9 93068025 7104 45.60 0741970111. |
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"Number Rhymes" - Digital
Poetry? 1,2,3,4,5, Once
I caught a fish alive. 6,7,8,9,10, Then
I let it go again. Why did you let it go? Because it
bit my finger so. Which finger did it bite? This little finger on the right! |
| 1,2,3,4,5, Once I caught a fish alive. 6,7,8,9,10, Then I let it go again. Why did you let it go? Because it bit my finger so. Which finger did it bite? This little finger on the right. 1, 2, buckle my shoe: 3, 4, knock at the door; 5, 6, pick up sticks? 7, 8, lay them straight// 9, 10, a big fat hen! 11, 12, dig & delve, 13, 14, maids a-courting... 15, 16, "maids in the kitchen" 17, 18, (maids in waiting) 19, 20, *my plate's empty*. 2 little dicky birds sitting on a wall, 1 named Peter, 1 named Paul. Fly away Peter, fly away Paul, Come back Peter, come back Paul! #3 blind mice, #3 blind mice, See how they run, see how they run, They all ran after the farmer's wife, Who cut off their tails with a carving knife, Did you ever see such a thing in your life, As #3 blind mice? |
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|
"This Old
Man" - Who Let The
Dogs Out? And the knee
bone is connected to the dog's bone. Or, at least,
according to this old saw! Beware of old
Irishmen with dogs and paddy-whacks. They have a
knack for knicking your valuables, bones and all! |
| This old man, he played 1. He played knick-knack on my drum. With a knick-knack paddy-whack, Give 1 dog a bone, The 1st old man came rolling home! This old man, he played 2. He played knick-knack on my shoe. With a knick-knack paddy-whack, Give 2 dogs a bone, The 2nd old man came rolling home! This old man, he played 3. He played knick-knack on my knee. With a knick-knack paddy-whack, Give 3 dogs a bone, The 3rd old man came rolling home! This old man, he played 4. He played knick-knack on my door. With a knick-knack paddy-whack, Give 4 dogs a bone, The 4th old man came rolling home! This old man, he played 5. He played knick-knack on my hive. With a knick-knack paddy-whack, Give 5 dogs a bone, The 5th old man came rolling home! This old man, he played 6. He played knick-knack on my sticks. With a knick-knack paddy-whack, Give 6 dogs a bone, The 6th old man came rolling home! This old man, he played 7. He played knick-knack up in heaven. With a knick-knack paddy-whack, Give 7 dogs a bone, The 7th old man came rolling home! This old man, he played 8. He played knick-knack on my gate. With a knick-knack paddy-whack, Give 8 dogs a bone, The 8th old man came rolling home! This old man, he played 9. He played knick-knack on my spine. With a knick-knack paddy-whack, Give 9 dogs a bone, The 9th old man came rolling home! This old man, he played 10. He played knick-knack once again. With a knick-knack paddy-whack, Give 10 dogs a bone, The 10th old man came rolling home! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. All 10 old men came rolling home And 55 dogs had 1 bone each! |
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|
"Starry Nights" - Sir Edmund
Starfish? When you wish
upon a star, You can end up
with a very long nose, Unless, of
course, it is the first star to the right! Then you can
end up anywhere! |
| Star Light Star Bright, The first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, Have the wish I wish tonight. Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are? Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky When the blazing sun is gone, when he nothing shines upon, Then you show your little light, twinkle, twinkle all the night. Then the traveller in the dark, thanks you for your tiny spark, He could not see which way to go, if you did not twinkle so. In the dark blue sky you keep, and often through my curtains peep, For you never shut your eye, 'till the sun is in the sky. As your bright and tiny spark lights the traveller in the dark, Though I know not what you are Twinkle, twinkle little star. |
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|
"London
Bells" - That has a familiar ring. "Oranges
and Lemons" say the Bells of St. Clements "Bullseyes
and Targets" say the Bells of St. Margaret's Hell's Bells?
Not quite! |
| Gay go up and gay go down To Ring the Bells of London Town "Oranges and Lemons" Say the Bells of St. Clement's "Bullseyes and Targets" Say the Bells of St. Margaret's "Brickbats and Tiles" Say the Bells of St. Giles "Halfpence and Farthings" Say the Bells of St. Martin's "Pancakes and Fritters" Say the Bells of St. Peter's "Two Sticks and an Apple" Say the Bells of Whitechapel "Maids in white aprons" Say the Bells at St. Katherine's "Pokers and Tongs" Say the Bells of St. John's "Kettles and Pans" Say the Bells of St. Anne's "Old Father Baldpate" Say the slow Bells of Aldgate "You owe me Ten Shillings" Say the Bells of St. Helen's "When will you Pay me?" Say the Bells of Old Bailey "When I grow Rich" Say the Bells of Shoreditch "Pray when will that be?" Say the Bells of Stepney "I do not know" Say the Great Bell of Bow Gay go up and gay go down To Ring the Bells of London Town |
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|
"Animal Rhymes" - Just Random
Animals. The lion and the unicorn. This little piggy. Itsy Bitsy spider! Pussy's in
the well! |
| The lion and the unicorn were fighting for the crown The lion beat the unicorn all around the town. Some gave them white bread, and some gave them brown; Some gave them plum cake and drummed them out of town. This little piggy went to market, This little piggy stayed at home, This little piggy had roast beef, This little piggy had none. And this little piggy went... "Wee wee wee," all the way home... Itsy Bitsy spider climbing up the spout Down came the rain and washed the spider out Out came the sun and dried up all the rain Now Itsy Bitsy spider went up the spout again! Ding dong bell, Pussy's in the well Who put her in? Little Johnny Flynn Who pulled her out? Little Tommy Stout What a naughty boy was that Try to drown poor Pussycat, Who ne'er did any harm But killed all the mice in the Farmer's barn! |
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|
"Oh, yeah,
Baby!" - Lots of little chillun'. Hush a bye
baby, Daddy's gone
a-hunting. And put it in
the oven for Baby and me! And down will
come baby, cradle and all! |
| Hush a bye baby, on the tree top, When the wind blows the cradle will rock; When the bow breaks, the cradle will fall and down will come baby, cradle and all. Cry Baby Bunting, Daddy's gone a-hunting Gone to fetch a rabbit skin, to wrap the Baby Bunting in Cry Baby Bunting, Daddy's gone a-hunting Gone to fetch a rabbit skin, to wrap the Baby Bunting in. Cry Baby Bunting. Mondays child is fair of face, Tuesdays child is full of grace, Wednesdays child is full of woe, Thursdays child has far to go, Fridays child is loving and giving, Saturdays child works hard for his living, and the child that is born on Sunday is bonny and blithe, and good and gay. Pat a cake, Pat a cake, baker's man Bake me a cake as fast as you can; Pat it and prick it and mark it with a 'B', And put it in the oven for Baby and me. Rock-a-bye baby on the tree top, When the wind blows the cradle will rock, When the bough breaks the cradle will fall, And down will come baby, cradle and all. What are little boys made of? "Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails That's what little boys are made of !" What are little girls made of? "Sugar and spice and all things nice That's what little girls are made of!" |
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"Jack and
Jill" - A Revision Exercise. Perhaps they
should have stayed in typing class! Please take care when climbing Typing Hill to fill your bucket
with
typing skills. You know
if Jack had gone a little slower and taken more careful steps. He may have got
the job done a little more quickly instead of becoming an abject failure with a
bag on his head! Note: Fingers must remain on hands
when not in use. |
| Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water. As they proceeded towards the top, Jack was suddenly gripped by fear As he suffered badly from acrophobia; A fear of heights. The fear advanced to dizziness and then to vertigo. With his balance gone, Jack lost all sense of up and down, And fell, rolling, back down the slope. Whereupon reaching the bottom, Jack cracked his head against a stone. Jill fainted at the sight. She executed an excellent tumble-turn As she also careered downward. Luckily, a most generous and ingenious Doctor of medicine happened along. He fashioned a most appropriate Bandage made solely of brown paper. Despite the timely administrations Of the most generous doctor, Both the protagonists still suffered From amnesia and so wandered home With their empty bucket... |
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|
"Little
Miss Muffet" - A Revulsion Exercise. Perhaps they
should have stayed in typing class! Please take care when venturing out into the Typing Wilderness to fill your tummy with typing skills. You know,
if Miss Muffet
had kept her eyes on the job at hand and had not gone looking all around she
may have efficiently entered the curds and whey into her system. The spider was never going
be any help! He wasn't a Typing Tutor,
just a Web Browser. Note: Bottom must remain on seat
when sitting. |
| Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet Eating some curds and whey. An unsuspecting Terence Tarantula, completely unaware of the unreasonable Arachnophobia of the young lady who dined so happily upon the rather inappropriate piece of furniture that she had carefully laid out on the lawn, proceeded to remove his lunch from his briefcase and take up a suitable eating position quite close by her side. Now, it is widely believed that Little Miss Muffet was the innocent victim of this unfortunate occurrence. Quite the opposite really, because, whilst she was able to run quickly away screaming for all her worth, poor Terence was left battered and, as it seemed to his tiny mind, quite clearly and unfairly, rejected behind. So scarred was he by this brief but traumatic encounter that he instantly developed an unreasonable fear of humans; Hominidophobia; and can no longer bear to even look briefly upon a monkey, let alone a gigantic, blue-eyed, pale-haired beast, such voracious monster that sat so carelessly devouring the never-to-be cheese, upon her tuffet, that fateful day! |
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|
"Mary Had a
Little Lamb" - A Replication Exercise. Do all those keys look
the same? You should not know because you are not supposed to be looking at
them! Please take care when coming to school in case someone’s science experiment follows you! You know, if Mary
had a little pig instead, the groundsman
would have been most upset! Note: Tails must remain between legs when not wagging. |
| Mary had a little lamb. Its fleece was white as snow. As sheep are genetically predisposed to follow the leader wherever they may go, everywhere that Mary went The lamb went also! Mary's dad had cloned quite a few of this particular strand of lamb so the many identical members of the little flock soon joined en masse behind her. They followed her to school one day. As you would well know, this is against the rules to have one sheep at school; let alone so many so identical. The teacher was not at all impressed to see this flock at school. Peter the groundsman, on the other hand, found the little blighters most useful. Apart from keeping the grass down and cutting down on his mowing, the thoughtful lambs provided him with a ready supply of pre-pelletised, low-odour, easy-handling manure of particularly good and consistent quality that was excellent for fertilizing his native trees. |
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|
"Blue Locks
and the 3 Not-Bears" - A Recreation
Exercise. Things are not always as
they seem, so be careful what you touch
with your little fingers. A slip of the finger may end up changing someone’s
name, or even changing the whole story! Remember if every time you
look you see the same old thing, don’t
bother looking; keep your eyes on the screen. Note: Eyes must remain in sockets
when not in use. |
| Once upon a time in the forest in Australia, there lived a family of 3 not-bears up a gum tree. They were particularly proud of their Family eucalypt, it being most tall. There was the fat, leathery, and lethargic Dad Not-Bear, the organised and efficient Mum Not-Bear, and their grumpy offspring, Billy Bub Not-Bear. Nearby to the great forest, Deep in the Australian Outback, Lived a girl with beautiful, bright, red hair. Her mother, Mrs Locks, Had named her goldie, But her clever little friends, as Outback Aussies are wont to do, nicknamed her with the moniker, Blue. One morning young Blue was out walking Deep in the forest of tall eucalypts, When she came upon a certain gum. A lovely blue gum it was. That particular morning the Koalas Had gone off to the waterhole for A very necessary drink of water. Blue decided to climb the tree To have a look around. Now if you think I am going to Carry on about Blue eating all The Not-Bear's porridge then you Are sadly ill-advised. The Not-Bears no more ate porridge Than Blue ate gum leaves. They didn't sit in chairs, Or sleep in beds either, And Blue was no good at Sleeping in the fork of a tree. If you had ever climbed a blue gum In the centre of the forest In the middle of the Australian Outback, Then you would probably know That there is not much to see, But lots of other gum trees. Blue had seen lots of gum trees before So she climbed back down and went home. When the Not-Bears came home, They were oblivious to the fact That she had even been there Which goes to show, doesn't it? Fair dinkum! It was more than A Koala could not bear! |
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|
The 3 Little Piggies and the Big
Bad Wolf - A Reconstruction Exercise. Before you venture out in
the wide blue world, be sure you know how
to make your way. You do not want to be guessing how to go about putting something
together, or you may have more than a
typographical misconstruction! Remember, a
successful future is built on a solid foundation. Build
it and they will come. Note: Feet must remain on floor
when standing. |
| 3 Little Piggies grew up one day, And started out from home in the usual way! At 18 little piggy years of age, they said Mummy's Little Piggies no longer are we! Each of the piggies sought to live alone So went to build each a house of his own. The 1st Little Piggy built his of straw, Not exactly in the local council by-laws! The other 2 Piggies were lazy so-and-sos So they just moved in with 1st. It wasn't long when that Big Bad Wolf Came along on his daily rounds. When the wolf came to #34 Hay Bale Way, He immediately saw that his chance of Having roast pork for dinner was 95.95%. The Wolf approached the door and knocked. "Who is it?" called 1st Little Pig. "Why it is just me," replied Wolfie. "What do you want, Hairy Ears!," the very rude 2nd Little Pig came back. "Yeah, just ping off, you ugly wolf," interjected 3rd, "We don't like you!" Wolfie calculated the wind velocity At approximately 17.56 kph. Just enough When added to his peak breath of 23 kph, To blow over the Little Piggies' house. "Let me in Little Piggies," he cried, "Or by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin, I'll blow your straw house in!" "Pork luck, Schmuck! was the reply. Coincidentally, those, collectively, were the last words ever uttered by the 3 Little Piggies. The Big Bad Wolf just said, "Yum!" Web: http://www.bigbadwolf.com.au email: wolfie@bigbadwolf.com.au Fax: 555 63829 Phone: 1800 WOLFIE |
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|
"Wee Animals" - Not what you
think, just small, that's all! The mouse ran
up the clock Ladybug ladybug fly
away home, Pussycat pussycat, where have you been?" He knew a
mouse was not a rat. |
| Hickory dickory dock The mouse ran up the clock The clock struck one, the mouse ran down Hickory dickory dock Ladybug ladybug fly away home, Your house in on fire and your children are gone, All except one and that's little Ann, For she crept under the frying pan. I had a little hen, the prettiest ever seen, She washed up the dishes and kept the house clean. She went to the mill to fetch us some flour, And always got home in less than an hour. She baked me my bread, she brewed me my ale, She sat by the fire and told a fine tale! Pussycat pussycat, where have you been?" "I've been up to London to visit the Queen." "Pussycat pussycat, what did you dare?" "I frightened a little mouse under her chair" There was a little guinea-pig, Who, being little, was not big; He always walked upon his feet, And never fasted when he eat. When from a place he run away, He never at the place did stay; And while he run, as I am told, He ne'er stood still for young or old. He often squeaked, and sometimes violent, And when he squeaked he ne'er was silent. Though ne'er instructed by a cat, He knew a mouse was not a rat. One day, as I am certified, He took a whim and fairly died; And as I am told by men of sense, He never has been living since. |
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|
"The
Elephant Rhyme" This one is
D&M, like an elephant's memory! This lesson is
huge, like the eponymous creature's size. Maybe one to
put in the trunk And keep for a
rainy day. |
| It was six men of Indostan To learning much inclined, Who went to see the Elephant (Though all of them were blind), That each by observation Might satisfy his mind The First approached the Elephant, And happening to fall Against his broad and sturdy side, At once began to bawl: "God bless me! but the Elephant Is very like a wall!" The Second, feeling of the tusk, Cried, "Ho! what have we here So very round and smooth and sharp? To me 'tis mighty clear This wonder of an Elephant Is very like a spear!" The Third approached the animal, And happening to take The squirming trunk within his hands, Thus boldly up and spake: "I see," quoth he, "the Elephant Is very like a snake!" The Fourth reached out an eager hand, And felt about the knee. "What most this wondrous beast is like Is mighty plain," quoth he; "'Tis clear enough the Elephant Is very like a tree!" The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear, Said: "E'en the blindest man Can tell what this resembles most; Deny the fact who can This marvel of an Elephant Is very like a fan!" The Sixth no sooner had begun About the beast to grope, Than, seizing on the swinging tail That fell within his scope, "I see," quoth he, "the Elephant Is very like a rope!" And so these men of Indostan Disputed loud and long, Each in his own opinion Exceeding stiff and strong, Though each was partly in the right, And all were in the wrong! |
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|
"Owl and
Pussycat" - Like Ships in the Night. The Owl and
the Pussycat went to sea In a beautiful
pea-green boat, They took some
honey, and plenty of money, Wrapped up in a five pound note. |
| The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea In a beautiful pea-green boat, They took some honey, and plenty of money, Wrapped up in a five pound note. The Owl looked up to the stars above, And sang to a small guitar, "O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love, What a beautiful Pussy you are, you are, you are, What a beautiful Pussy you are." Pussy said to the Owl "You elegant fowl, How charmingly sweet you sing. O let us be married, too long we have tarried; But what shall we do for a ring?" They sailed away, for a year and a day, To the land where the Bong-tree grows, And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood With a ring at the end of his nose, his nose, his nose, With a ring at the end of his nose. "Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling your ring?" Said the Piggy, "I will!" So they took it away, and were married next day By the Turkey who lives on the hill. They dined on mince, and slices of quince, Which they ate with a runcible spoon. And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand. They danced by the light of the moon, the moon, the moon. They danced by the light of the moon. |
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|
"Old Lady
Who" - What a strange diet! There was an
old lady who swallowed a bird; How absurd to
swallow a bird. She
swallowed the bird to catch the spider, She swallowed
the spider to catch the fly; I don't know
why she swallowed a fly! |
| There was an old lady who swallowed a fly I don't know why she swallowed a fly! There was an old lady who swallowed a spider, That wriggled and wiggled and tiggled inside her; She swallowed the spider to catch the fly; I don't know why she swallowed a fly! There was an old lady who swallowed a bird; How absurd to swallow a bird. She swallowed the bird to catch the spider, She swallowed the spider to catch the fly; I don't know why she swallowed a fly! There was an old lady who swallowed a cat; Fancy that to swallow a cat! She swallowed the cat to catch the bird, She swallowed the bird to catch the spider, She swallowed the spider to catch the fly; I don't know why she swallowed a fly! There was an old lady that swallowed a dog; What a hog, to swallow a dog; She swallowed the dog to catch the cat, She swallowed the cat to catch the bird, She swallowed the bird to catch the spider, She swallowed the spider to catch the fly; I don't know why she swallowed a fly! There was an old lady who swallowed a cow, I don't know how she swallowed a cow; She swallowed the cow to catch the dog, She swallowed the dog to catch the cat, She swallowed the cat to catch the bird, She swallowed the bird to catch the spider, She swallowed the spider to catch the fly; I don't know why she swallowed a fly! There was an old lady who swallowed a horse... She's dead, of course! |
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|
"Farm
Animals" - Things that Go Moo in the
Night. Baa baa
black sheep, Horsey horsey don't you stop. The cow jumped
over the moon! The sheep's
in the meadow! Higgledy
Piggledy, my black hen! |
| This little piggy went to market, This little piggy stayed at home, This little piggy had roast beef, This little piggy had none. And this little piggy went... "Wee wee wee," all the way home... Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full! One for the master, one for the dame, and one for the little boy who lives down the lane Horsey horsey don't you stop Just let your feet go clippetty clop The tail goes swish and the wheels go round Giddy up, we're homeward bound. Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, The cow jumped over the moon. The little dog laughed to see such fun And the dish ran away with the spoon! Little Boy Blue come blow your horn, The sheep's in the meadow the cow's in the corn. But where's the boy who looks after the sheep? He's under a haystack fast asleep. Will you wake him? No, not I for if I do, he's sure to cry. Higgledy Piggledy, my black hen, She lays eggs for gentlemen; Sometimes nine, and sometimes ten, Higgledy Piggledy, my black hen! |
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|
"A Story" - An Anxious Albatross Altercation. Animals who always do all things the same way can get into a rut. Sometimes it
can give them a bad name! Albatrosses are
known to ancient mariners as the foretellers of doom. Sit up and
stay flexible and you might become a more positive omen! |
| Agoraphobic Alby, an avuncular albatross, angled across an azure Atlantic afternoon. Anyone asking Agoraphobic Alby anything about an anxiety affliction as awful as agoraphobia activated an ageless argument. Albatrosses always answered any aside as an affront against almost all albatrosses. Agoraphobic Alby, as always airborne, as all albatrosses always are, about-faced and angled anti-clockwise aerobatically. Another angle across an azure Atlantic anticipates another Alby address? "As albatrosses all agree, air and atmosphere add angst about altogether and all-around ambivalent attitudes about altitude and amplitude." "Almost as an albatross arises away and actuates airborne alacrity, anxiety accumulates and apparently aggravates an ancestral agoraphobia, an anxiety about all abyssal airiness; abysmal antipathy assiduously acts against attempts at allaying, abating, assuaging, alleviating, and appeasing an appallingly affective affliction aimed at all albatrosses." "Alas, an albatross alone empathizes!" |
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|
"Sheep
Tails" - You'll know where to find them. Little Bo peep
has lost her sheep Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool? Mary had a
little lamb. Leave them
alone and they'll come home, Bringing their tails behind them. |
| Little Bo peep has lost her sheep And doesn't know where to find them. Leave them alone and they'll come home, Bringing their tails behind them. Little Bo peep fell fast asleep And dreamt she heard them bleating, But when she awoke, she found it a joke, For they were all still fleeting. Then up she took her little crook Determined for to find them. She found them indeed, but it made her heart bleed, For they left their tails behind them. It happened one day, as Bo peep did stray Into a meadow hard by, There she espied their tails side by side All hung on a tree to dry. She heaved a sigh, and wiped her eye, And over the hillocks went rambling, And tried what she could, As a shepherdess should, To tack again each to its lambkin. Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full! One for the master, one for the dame, And one for the little boy who lives down the lane. Mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow; And everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go. It followed her to school one day, which was against the rule; It made the children laugh and play, to see a lamb at school. And so the teacher turned it out, but still it lingered near, And waited patiently about till Mary did appear. "Why does the lamb love Mary so?" the eager children cry; "Why, Mary loves the lamb, you know" the teacher did reply. |
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|
"Robin
Songs" (Not the kind
that burglars sing!) Oh, the red, red
robin goes bob, bob, bobbin along. He rocks in the
treetop all day long, Rockin' and a boppin'
and a-singing this song Go Rockin' Robin! |
| Little Robin Redbreast sat upon a rail; Niddle, naddle, went his head, Wiggle, waggle, went his tail. Little Robin Red breast sat upon a tree, Up went pussy cat and down went he; Down came pussy, and away Robin ran; Says little Robin Red breast, "Catch me if you can". Little Robin Red breast jumped upon a wall, Pussy cat jumped after him and almost got a fall; Little Robin chirped and sang, and what did pussy say? Pussy cat said, "Meeow!" and Robin jumped away. The North wind doth blow and we shall have snow, And what will poor robin do then, poor thing? He'll sit in a barn and keep himself warm and hide his head under his wing, poor thing. "Who killed Cock Robin?" "I," said the Sparrow, "With my bow and arrow, I killed Cock Robin." "Who saw him die?" "I," said the Fly, "With my little eye, I saw him die." All the birds of the air fell a-sighing and a-sobbing, When they heard the bell toll For poor, poor Cock Robin. |
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|
"Easy As Eggs" - Excellent
Egg Exploits. Just sitting
on the fence can lead to a drop in confidence. Cracks can
appear that are hard to correct. Eggs are the beginning of everything. Just ask us chickens! Keep your
life balanced if you want to stay on the up and up! |
| Eventually every excellent egg exceeds, Eggspert Eric's exacting egg examinations. Eric evaluates eggs, even exercising, especially extreme examples exemplifying excess egginess, exuding egomaniacal envy. Energetically, Eric employs enumerable egg experiments, estimating existing erratum. Extraordinary exemplars extend Eric's eager, effervescent excitement entailing enchanting, engrossing, enigmatic embryos. Enamel eggshells encase Easter excesses. Eric explains each error exclaiming euphemisms engendering eternal epithets. Eager, enthusiastic eggheads educate earnest Earthlings - emotionally engaged. Eric's epistle elucidates extravagant embellishments; effecting enjoyment. Enclosing eight edible enemies, eight eggcups exploit eight ellipsoid ettiquettes espousing exaggerated empathy, expelling exorbitantly entrepreneurial economies, etcetera. Enviously, Eric establishes effacious elbow-contact, exposing eloquent expletives, emanating emotionally, entirely expected explosions. Eject Evil Eggs! Easy! |
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|
"3 Little
Kittens" They lost their
mittens! "Oh
mother dear, we sadly fear that we have lost our
mittens." "What!
Lost your mittens, you naughty kittens! Then you shall
have no pie." |
| Three little kittens they lost their mittens, and they began to cry, "Oh mother dear, we sadly fear that we have lost our mittens." "What! Lost your mittens, you naughty kittens! Then you shall have no pie." "Meeow, meeow, meeow, now we shall have no pie." The three little kittens, they found their mittens, and they began to cry, "Oh mother dear, see here, see here For we have found our mittens." "Put on your mittens, you silly kittens And you shall have some pie" "Meeow, meeow, meeow. Now let us have some pie." The three little kittens put on their mittens And soon ate up the pie, "Oh mother dear, we greatly fear That we have soiled our mittens." "What! soiled you mittens, you naughty kittens!" Then they began to cry, "Meeow, meeow, meeow" Then they began to sigh. The three little kittens they washed their mittens And hung them out to dry, "Oh mother dear, do you not hear That we have washed our mittens." "What! washed your mittens, you are good kittens." But I smell a rat close by, "Meeow, meeow, meeow" we smell a rat close by... |
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|
"Wild Animals " - Not really
that scarey. A wise old owl
lived in an oak The monkey
chased the weasel. On slugs and on snails. Now Itsy Bitsy spider went up the spout again! |
| A wise old owl lived in an oak The more he saw the less he spoke The less he spoke the more he heard. Why can't we all be like that wise old bird? Round and round the mulberry bush The monkey chased the weasel. The monkey stopped to pull up his socks And Pop goes the weasel. "Croak!" said the toad, "I'm hungry, I think; Today I've had nothing To eat or to drink. I'll crawl to a garden And jump through the *pales, And there I'll dine nicely On slugs and on snails." "Ho, ho!" quoth the frog, "Is that what you mean? Then I'll hop away to The next meadow stream; There I will drink, and Eat worms and slugs too, And then I shall have a Good dinner like you." Itsy Bitsy spider climbing up the spout Down came the rain and washed the spider out Out came the sun and dried up all the rain Now Itsy Bitsy spider went up the spout again! |
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|
"Londo Bridge" - In
London no more! London Bridge
is falling down, Falling down,
falling down, London Bridge
is falling down, My fair Lady! |
| London Bridge is falling down, Falling down, falling down, London Bridge is falling down, My fair Lady. Build it up with wood and clay, Wood and clay, wood and clay, Build it up with wood and clay, My fair Lady. Wood and clay will wash away, Wash away, wash away, Wood and clay will wash away, My fair Lady. Build it up with bricks and mortar, Bricks and mortar, bricks and mortar, Build it up with bricks and mortar, My fair Lady. Bricks and mortar will not stay, Will not stay, will not stay, Bricks and mortar will not stay, My fair Lady. Build it up with iron and steel, Iron and steel, iron and steel, Build it up with iron and steel, My fair Lady. Iron and steel will bend and bow, Bend and bow, bend and bow, Iron and steel will bend and bow, My fair Lady. Build it up with silver and gold, Silver and gold, silver and gold, Build it up with silver and gold, My fair Lady. Silver and gold will be stolen away, Stolen away, stolen away, Silver and gold will be stolen away, My fair Lady. Set a man to watch all nigh, Watch all night, watch all night, Set a man to watch all night, My fair Lady. Suppose the man should fall asleep, Fall asleep, fall asleep, Suppose the man should fall asleep? My fair Lady. Give him a pipe to smoke all night, Smoke all night, smoke all night, Give him a pipe to smoke all night, My fair Lady. |
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|
"The HareFish and The Turtle" - A Reliability
Exercise. Not everything is
as it seems! Sometimes you need to hasten slowly to
go quickly. Slow and steady wins the race!
If HareFish had gone a little slower and concentrated
more, he may have got the job done, instead of coming second. Note: Fins are
great for swimming, but fingers are best
for keying. |
| Once upon a time there was a zippy little fish that lived in the Great Barrier Reef Marine Park. His name was Harefish. Harefish was very prone to hare-brained schemes, but his impetuousness was kept in check by his fine friend, Toby the Turtle. Toby was a serious kind of turtle not given to rash schemes of any kind, but a fine sort of chap to have as a pal as he tended to keep one out of trouble. One fine day, Harefish challenged Toby to a race up to the end of the local reef. Harefish was keen to start, but Toby was keen to set the playing conditions. "Before we start," said Toby, "I want to ask you a question." "What question?" asked Harefish eagerly. "Just this," Toby replied intriguingly, "If a meteorite falls into the sea, but nobody sees it..." "What's a meteorite?" interrupted Harefish impatiently. "It's a rock that falls from space." "What space? Under the Reef?" "No, the space above the sky, above the water, where you cannot swim! Oh, don't bother with that. If a rock falls into the sea and you don't see it, do you see?" "Yes..., I see it, but I don't see it in the sea. Is that right?" said Harefish. "Yes," continued Toby, "if you didn't see it fall, was it actually there?" "Well, if I didn't see it, I don't know if it was there or not, do I?" "Exactly, so it is the same with racing." "How?" "Well, if nobody sees you win, you are not really winning, are you?" "No," replied Harefish, "I guess not." "So," continued Toby, "you must make sure that someone knows you are winning at all times throughout the race. Only then can you be sure that you are truly the winner." "No worries," said Harefish, "I'll make sure that somebody always knows it's me." "Good," said Toby, "let us start." And so the race started, Harefish darting ahead until he would spot a witness, at which point he would zip up and tell the unsuspecting bystander, exactly what was happening. He was winning! Toby, of course, just plodded on. He did not need to stop and explain that he was losing. That in itself was obvious. As the race neared the end of the reef, locals were becoming much more sparse, and Harefish was finding more and more that he needed to back-track to find a suitable witness to his winningness. Just before the end of the reef, he passed out of sight of the last creature, at which point he had to swim back past his friend, Toby, who, of course, was now winning, and by the time Harefish returned to the race, Toby was passing the finish line in full view of his competitor, Harefish. "I won!" cried Toby. "No you did not!" shouted Harefish. "No one saw you cross the line, so you cannot have been the winner!" "Ah but you did, Harefish. You saw me!" "But what does that prove?" IMHO, that proves that it is better to be seen to succeed, than it is to succeed to be seen, especially if you put it all on the line, just as you have now. That was 77 lines, BTW. |
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|
"Funny
Guys" What Can I Say?
These Old Guys... They Are Funny! Georgie Porgie pudding and pie Diddle, diddle,
dumpling, my son John, He found a
crooked sixpence upon a crooked stile! He went to
bed and he bumped his head And couldn't
get up in the morning! |
| Georgie Porgie pudding and pie, Kissed the girls and made them cry When the boys came out to play, Georgie Porgie ran away. Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son John, Went to bed with his trousers on; One shoe off, and one shoe on, Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son John! Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town, Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown, Tapping at the window and crying through the lock, Are all the children in their beds, it's past 8 o'clock? There was a crooked man and he walked a crooked mile, He found a crooked sixpence upon a crooked stile. He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse. And they all lived together in a little crooked house Old King Cole was a merry old soul, and a merry old soul was he; He called for his pipe in the middle of the night And he called for his fiddlers 3. Every fiddler had a fine fiddle, and a very fine fiddle had he; Oh there's none so rare as can compare With King Cole and his fiddlers 3. Tom Tom the piper's son Stole a pig and away he ran, The pig was eat and Tom was beat And Tom went roaring down the street. It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed and he bumped his head And couldn't get up in the morning. |
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|
"Jack's
House" - Or at least,
the one he built! This is the
cow with the crumpled horn That tossed
the dog that worried the cat That killed
the rat that ate the malt That lay in
the house that Jack built! |
| This is the house that Jack built! This is the malt that lay in the house that Jack built. This is the rat that ate the malt That lay in the house that Jack built. This is the cat that killed the rat That ate the malt that lay in the house that Jack built. This is the dog that worried the cat That killed the rat that ate the malt That lay in the house that Jack built. This is the cow with the crumpled horn That tossed the dog that worried the cat That killed the rat that ate the malt That lay in the house that Jack built. This is the maiden all forlorn That milked the cow with the crumpled horn That tossed the dog that worried the cat That killed the rat that ate the malt That lay in the house that Jack built. This is the man all tattered and torn That kissed the maiden all forlorn That milked the cow with the crumpled horn That tossed the dog that worried the cat That killed the rat that ate the malt That lay in the house that Jack built. This is the priest all shaven and shorn That married the man all tattered and torn That kissed the maiden all forlorn That milked the cow with the crumpled horn That tossed the dog that worried the cat That killed the rat that ate the malt That lay in the house that Jack built. This is the cock that crowed in the morn That waked the priest all shaven and shorn That married the man all tattered and torn That kissed the maiden all forlorn That milked the cow with the crumpled horn That tossed the dog that worried the cat That killed the rat that ate the malt That lay in the house that Jack built. This is the farmer sowing his corn That kept the cock that crowed in the morn That waked the priest all shaven and shorn That married the man all tattered and torn That kissed the maiden all forlorn That milked the cow with the crumpled horn That tossed the dog that worried the cat That killed the rat that ate the malt That lay in the house that Jack built! |
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|
"Food for
Thought" - Things You Can Eat. Pease pudding in the pot. Bake me a cake
as fast as you can;. Half a pound of
treacle! Four and
twenty blackbirds baked in a pie! The Queen of
Hearts she made some tarts all on a summer's day. |
| Pease pudding hot, Pease pudding cold, Pease pudding in the pot - nine days old. Some like it hot, some like it cold, Some like it in the pot - nine days old. Pat a cake, Pat a cake, baker's man Bake me a cake as fast as you can; Pat it and prick it and mark it with a 'B', And put it in the oven for Baby and me. Peter Peter pumpkin eater, Had a wife and couldn't keep her! He put her in a pumpkin shell, And there he kept her very well! Half a pound of tuppenny rice, Half a pound of treacle. That’s the way the money goes, Pop! goes the weasel. Simple Simon met a pieman going to the fair; Said Simple Simon to the pieman, "Let me taste your ware" Said the pieman to Simple Simon, "Show me first your penny" Said Simple Simon to the pieman, "Sir, I have not any!" Sing a song of sixpence a pocket full of rye, Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie. When the pie was opened the birds began to sing, Oh wasn't that a dainty dish to set before the king? The king was in his counting house counting out his money, The queen was in the parlour eating bread and honey The maid was in the garden hanging out the clothes, When down came a blackbird and pecked off her nose! The Queen of Hearts she made some tarts all on a summer's day; The Knave of Hearts he stole the tarts and took them clean away. The King of Hearts called for the tarts and beat the Knave full sore The Knave of Hearts brought back the tarts and vowed he'd steal no more. |
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|
"Silly
Rhymes" With Billy and Milly and Willy and ... Peter Peter pumpkin eater, Had a wife and
couldn't keep her! When she got
there, the cupboard was bare And so
betwixt the two of them They licked
the platter clean. |
| Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard To get her poor doggie a bone, When she got there, the cupboard was bare So the poor little doggie had none. There was an old woman who lived in a shoe, She had so many children she didn't know what to do! So she gave them some broth without any bread, And she whipped them all soundly and sent them to bed! Peter Peter pumpkin eater, Had a wife and couldn't keep her! He put her in a pumpkin shell, And there he kept her very well! As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with 7 wives, Each wife had 7 sacks, each sack had 7 cats, Each cat had 7 kits: kits, cats, sacks and wives, How many were going to St. Ives? Jack Sprat could eat no fat His wife could eat no lean And so betwixt the two of them They licked the platter clean Jack ate all the lean, Joan ate all the fat. The bone they picked it clean, Then gave it to the cat |
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